My First Post (eek!)
So, I’m a writer. I’ve been struggling to finish a novel for a while now, and while the book isn’t done yet, it’s getting done, and that’s pretty awesome. Every day I work on it. Every day I write. And every day I get a little closer, if not to publication, then at least to self-acceptance. Apparently, writing is healing.
And since writing is healing, I’ve thought about starting a blog for a while. I wanted a place where I could tell other writers about what I’ve learned in the last year and am still learning: that you have everything you need within you, that the act of writing is simplicity itself, that acknowledging fear and our own vulnerability, while terrifying, is less awful than unfulfilled dreams, and that the road to authenticity, to self-learning, is the only road to fulfillment.
I wanted a place to tell you (and maybe me, too) that there is nothing wrong with you, that if you want to write (or start a business, or pursue a long lost talent) self-reliance conquers any difficulty, and the only way to write is to shower your writing, your muse, your inner critic, and therefore yourself, with love and attention.
But, who’s going to listen to me? I mean, I want to talk about writing, and I don’t even have a book published. I want to talk about being an entrepreneur, and it scares the holy crap out of me. So, really, who am I to start a blog?
And then Havi happened.
For those of you who don’t know who Havi Brooks is, give yourself the gift of a few minutes on her website, The Fluent Self. It’s this beautiful place that promotes self-awareness and self-acceptance, and she totally gets all the crazy fear and self-doubt involved in the creative process. She also has a cool duck named Selma and some amazing followers, so check out her blog as well.
I found her blog a few weeks ago. I was so moved and touched that I sent her an email or two, not thinking much of it. She asked if she could use some of my letters in an Ask Havi post, and I was like, “Sure,” wondering what I had said that could possibly be interesting to someone else. And then, I read this.
Yep. I’m the crazy writer who feeds her inner critic Milk Duds and gives her hugs. And I cannot even begin to express how moved I was by Havi’s post and by all those lovely comments. Each and every one of you, you rock my world.
I was put out there in a way that, frankly, I wouldn’t have had the courage to do for some time. And you know what? It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t bad at all. In fact, what would have scared the hell out of me a few months ago, was actually a wonderful and beautiful gift.
So what I would have surely put off for another year, I’m starting today. I don’t have it all figured out, yet. I wish I could tell you that I’ve got all the answers. I don’t. But, I’m still going to jump in. I’m going to navigate this quagmire of fear and self-loathing anyway, so I figured I might as well not travel alone. I hope you find useful things here. Mostly, I just hope we can chat, and find strength and support in each other.
And it is my sincerest wish that if you’re struggling to write something, or start a blog, or start a new business, that you’ll find some comfort and inspiration here, and perhaps jump in as well.
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Wow. I mean … wow.
I knew you were a terrific writer from the first email, but man, I have to say that reading you here like this is pure pleasure.
Also, I took the liberty of reading bits of it out loud to my gentleman friend who said, “Now that woman’s a real writer!”
Just in case you were wondering.
All those people who know you as “that freaking awesome Milk Duds lady” will be overjoyed to have something good to read.
And even though I’m not at all a fan of pushing people out of their comfort zones, I’m ecstatic that we accidentally expanded yours by a lot.
This is COMPLETELY inspiring and I’m in awe of the whole thing. Just saying.
Figures wonderful Havi would be the impetus: she’s a big one for getting people going, is Havi.
I aspire to wonderful-ness, but keep one foot firmly planted in the Big Ol’ Bitch camp. Because SOMEONE has to bridge that particular gap, right?
Congrats on your burgeoning novel and your brand new blog. It is an addiction of the best and holiest variety!
Justin – *Big hug!* Thanks so much for all your support and kind words! Clients like you are why I love designing websites as much as writing.
Hiro – Thank you so much for all the hugs and encouragement. You’re simply the best.
Joely – Thank you!
Eileen – Hee hee! Yes, I’m finally out of the closet. And good luck to you, too, on all the changes you’ve got going on. Looking forward to traveling with you through the blogosphere …
Mynde – Love it. And thanks for the kind comment. I just found your blog and read Technology Baby!, which is completely awesome. “getting Jedi with it” (the fear, that is) is my new favorite phrase. You’ve got a new fan.
Hmmm…I am sitting at my writing desk a bit stunned. I knew my talented website guru aspired to be a writer. I did not know about the raw passion for the written word that rests, perhaps not always peacefully, within her soul. It is one thing to aspire to write and quite another to want it so bad that your mouth waters. The depth and feeling of each sentence that Diane writes, convinces me of her future success…perhaps, in her cunning way, turning a tumultuous past into a most enterprising future.
Diane, hooray and yaaay for outing yourself as the Milk Dud Writer. And for writing this beautiful blog post.
Wishing you a truly happy journey through blog-land. Keep writing that novel. Keep writing with your lovely, vulnerable, honest voice. Your tribe needs you.
Love and hugs, Hiro
This is a fantastic way to start!
This is wonderful, the Milk Duds writer finally outing herself! The last line speaks directly to me too, since today is coincidentally the first day I opened up my blog from password protection :) Thank you, and good luck with that novel.
Milk Dud lady… how nice to meet you and what a wonderfully written first blog post. Congrats & yay.
Writing is healing and therapy, yes. And so is Havi and her ways of gentle nudges & internet hugs.
Looking forward to ever expanding ripples of goodness! Yours, mine, ours :)
Good luck to you. I finally started writing fiction after a lifetime of writing nonfiction late last year, and I understand the hesitation all too well. Every time I open Scrivener and stare at the blank page, I think of Wil Wheaton, and I dare to suck. :)
MeiLin – That’s awesome. I dare to suck, too!
Wow Diane, your bravery is palpable. So cool for you! I’ve been hanging around Havi’s blog for a little while too and boy, is she the bomb. To see all these new bloggers crack out of their shells like little baby chicks and make their first peeps, it’s just so inspiring. I’m hatching my own plot to get it out there…very soon and join all of you. Thanks for the inspiration and much love to you!
Woohoo! how terrific to meet the Milk Dud Writer, and to have a chance to keep reading your terrific words.
Congratulations!
I’m so tickled for you, you awesome milk dud lady! A friend of mine pointed me to your blog earlier today, and from there I found Havi (and duck!) and have been devouring her blog ever since. I just started a blog a few weeks ago and restarted another temporarily abandoned blog not long after that. My inner writer is inner no more, so these conversations and encouragements are very well timed indeed. I’m glad to find compatriots on similar journeys and can’t wait to see what more you have to share with us. Congratulations!
Julie – Oooh, that’s exciting stuff. Let me know when you have it up and running,so I can visit!
Grace – Thanks! *blushing and grinning*
Mary – Congratulations on you outer writer-dom! Just visited your blog and Love. It. Thank you so much for getting back into writing. We need your blog! Looking forward to chatting with you.
Hi Diane!! This was an *awesome* first post. I am thrilled you have taken the leap to share your gifts with the world.
Isn’t Havi an amazing catalyst? I really didn’t think I would get started for quite a while, either.
But, here we are.
Please, keep sharing your writing!
Hi Diane! Love your blog. I’m going to subscribe to your rss feed so I don’t forget to check back in for later posts. :)
I’m working on a novel too and am absolutely in love with the process. I resonate with everything you said.
Hi Diane,
I wanted to join in on your first comments. (Thank you Havi, for the link)
Getting in on the ground floor of something that promises to be quite nice is a good feeling! And I’m dying to write myself. So I’ll be lurking here if you don’t mind.
This is like opening a good book to the first page…
Diana – “This is like opening a good book to the first page…” That’s the sweetest thing ever. This is SO going in my warm and fuzzy file. And feel free to lurk! I’m a lurker at heart, too.
Victoria – Thank you so much! Love your blog, too. Your post, Dear Fears, was great. Thank goodness for Havi.
Sheila – Welcome and thanks for the well wishes! Good luck with your own novel. I swear, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I love it anyway. Btw, I visited your site and it’s awesome! I’ve been thinking of a post about my own terror of math and how it shaped my life. Hmmm…
Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Ms. Milk Duds writer. I’m always curious about who the people are who write the letters in the ask Havi posts so it’s fun to find out who the real person is.
Wonderful post and so courageous…. and inspiring. I, too, will be coming back for more!
Chris – Hi, Chris! How nice to see you here! I really enjoyed your last post. You have such gentle, insightful things to say about the creative process. And this, “While God is smiling on us at all times, when we are actually being creative, that smile gets a little bit bigger” is completely awesome. Totally put a smile on my face.
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